A fine line – self-acceptance and wanting more

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I’ve been pondering the balance between being satisfied with the status quo and wanting more.

It’s a fine line – a balancing act for sure.

I am so grateful for where I am and all of my blessings, but I find myself wanting more – to be more, do more, be better, be _________… I think we can all fill in the blank.

In 2007, I lived with the islanders in Fiji for 2 months. They live very simply and are so happy. But me, the perennial type “A”, kept wondering if they ever wanted more – wanted to do more or be more, as is typical in American culture. 

My two youngest children and I in Fiji in 2007.

I talked with one of our hosts, a young man in his 20’s, and asked him what he wanted out of life. 

His response was that he was studying to be a mechanic and his goal was to support his family and live simply as he did now amongst his people. 

I took a big step back! This obsession we have with more, more, more could be the very thing keeping us from being happy with what is.

Now, as I’m aging, I’m learning to accept what that means and not constantly want more. Even more so, I am actually learning to embrace and love this stage in life…although along with that I need a lot of humor for sure!!

I’ve learned and am still learning to be ok with the grey hair (I’m actually letting it grow out), the bags under my eyes, and the wrinkles above my lip.

Me, at 67, growing to embrace what aging means…

Would I want those bags and wrinkles to not be there… yes – maybe!! I haven’t decided if I want to do something about it, as I’m torn between embracing the aging experience and all the wrinkles and changes it brings versus the constant societal pressure to want more and want to look better. 

I’m good with where I am at in regards to my aging body… or so I thought until I was challenged this past week.

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend who is an esthetician and has beautiful skin. She is always recommending how to improve my skin, which is wonderful. She is gifted in this field and I respect her knowledge.

But here is how the conversation went down.

I was telling her of an exciting interview I have coming up with a well known publication which included photos and a video. 

As I’m talking she says, interrupting me, 

“You should go have such and such procedure done before the video.” 

At that point I interrupted her with, 

“I’m fine just like I am.”

I knew where she was going with this…something like, Well you’d be received better, you would look better and attract more views, and on and on.

Needless to say, it upset me a tad bit.

I realized I did indeed feel good about who I am and had accepted the lines and wrinkles and bags, but…

This rocked me!

I began to feel not good enough, less than, insecure about my looks. 

I thought, ‘Oh, no, were people going to judge me?’

It sent me down a rabbit hole. I got mad at her, wanted to tell her a thing or two. And then I stepped back. And realized that she had triggered something inside of me that needed to change.

I needed to look at my self respect and once again get grounded and accepting of where I am and who I am. I had to realize that what she said was totally out of love.

How I would love to feel about aging – welcoming it like warm embrace of sunshine…

So how do we find that balance, the fine line of being satisfied and happy where we are but wanting more, especially when it comes to the aging process? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts…

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